I’ve been a people person all my life.
It’s had its ups and downs — starting with me sneaking out of my stroller at 2 years old to wander into the thick of the South Florida Fair crowd and talk to strangers.
(I was found by my terrified mother a few minutes later, I’m told, deep in conversation with the duck shooter game guy.)
But, while it’s certainly cooler in Internet Land to be someone who has an “It’s Too People-y Outside!” needle-point hanging in their foyer, I’ve always been hopelessly fascinated by my fellow humans.
Perhaps because of this, since before I can remember, people have opened up to me quickly about their stories, hopes, and dreams.
Never, Ever Let ‘Em Tell You You’re Not Interesting
It’s a gift in my client work, as it helps us blow through the surface stuff and get into the guts of things fairly quickly.
And after 34 years of this “being human” gig?
I have yet to meet a single person I could confidently call “boring” once they opened up a little.
Shy? Sure. Wary of strangers? Absolutely. Closed off? No doubt. But boring? Never.
Because I can assure you: humans are inherently fascinating.
After all, we are the sum of all of our parts and our experiences; all of our family members and ancestors and friends and lovers, all the schooling we’ve ever had (formal and informal), all the places we’ve lived and seen and longed to go, and so on.
If that isn’t the most inherently compelling thing you’ve ever heard…? Well, fart noise.
AND YET.
The terror of sharing trite, tedious, unoriginal garbage with the world is right up there with “I’m doomed to be invisible” and “Oh god am I gonna get canceled?!” in the Great League of Creative Fears.
Sometimes that fear gets realized, as cruel people in our lives who sense our anxiety poke that sensitive spot and sniff: “Boringg!“
(Been there, and f*ck those people, btw.)
The Trick to Becoming Infinitely Interesting
But what if I told you you don’t need to try to invent ideas to be interesting?
What you DO need to try, however, is cracking yourself out of your own shell.
Creativity is a delicate balance between sharing the way you see things, and filtering it through your chosen audience’s wants and perceptions.
(While creativity doesn’t require an audience to exist, if you want your creative work to go anywhere… ya need one.)
And when we get into “boring” territory, we’re often just leaning TOO HARD on our “what I feel my audience wants” filter.
Wanna watch a human become infinitely interesting in seconds flat?
Ask them about something they’re passionate about. Something they love, or something they hate. Something they believe in, or refuse to believe. And watch them light up like the Milky Way.
And when they hesitate and stop themselves and politely say “I’m so sorry, you really got me going there. Tell me about
you!“
You’ll say: “No, keep going!”, and mean it.
More of Who You Already Are Please
This is because what makes us inherently interesting is not our careful control of how we are perceived, but the pulpy juice of our experiences, and the way we see things, and understand the world.
Perfectly packaged is forgettable.
The deeply human part of you, the part that worries sometimes that you’ve said too much, is where your compelling, fascinating, can’t-take-their-eyes-off-you lives.
And yes, it’s scarier than carefully filtering yourself for whoever’s in front of you…
… But part of your commitment to a creative, artistic life is being willing to reach into that place to find what to share, and keep reaching.
You are inherently fascinating by birth — but now, it’s your job to crack a hand through your own shell and offer up some of the soft, essence-y stuff you’ve found inside.
Because it’s never been about somehow learning “how to be more interesting”.
It’s always been about learning how to be more of… exactly who you already are.
Big love,
H
Photo by Will Porada on Unsplash
