Out of nowhere in early 2022, it hit me square between the eyes that something was missing in my business.
Something I’d spent so many years doing that I’d kind of gulp taken it for granted.
It was also something I’d placed on the back burner for so long, I suddenly realized I was starving for it.
Namely: I was itching to get back into the groove of creating fresh stuff again — content, offers, concepts, the works.
See, over the years I’d done all the things successful entrepreneurs are supposed to do to put a lid on the chaos of constant over-creation.
(Which is still a VERY real thing by the way.
As high-output creatives, it’s easy to make so much stuff that you lose track, so you wind up sitting on a giant pile of half-baked ideas with very little to show for it… instead of focusing your energy where it counts.
But I’m not talking about that today. Stay with me.)
Here’s What a “Successful” Entrepreneur is Supposed to Do…
I’d outsourced my social content, and hired folks to repurpose the mountain of stuff I was already sitting on.
I’d spent time on other formats and platforms where I’d needed to build a skillset outside of my comfort zone (helloooo #HAMYAW YouTube channel!).
I’d created solid offers that had become well-oiled machines, that I’ve sold over and over again like clockwork the past two years.
Everything was working smoothly, and pretty damn joyfully.
I had (and still have!) a great team, plenty of time off, and an extraordinary business doing work that’s deeply meaningful to me.
So imagine my surprise when, towards the end of 2021, with all the above pieces in place to the tune of ~$500k in revenue and hundreds of happy clients served, I started experiencing the strangest feeling.
It was like I’d gone from being the covered-in-grease, sweaty mechanic, to finally building this foxy little Lambo engine of a business — and my goodness wasn’t it fabulous??
But what’s to do when you’ve worked yourself out of the shop?
Look at that shine! The well-run thingiemajigs. The slick thisandthats! By jove, I’d done it! All I have to do is show up when I need to, and this kitten purrrrs like a tiger.
But the problem was?
Now I was a mechanic just standing there… staring at a foxy little Lambo engine.
Which, after a while, gets a little stale — no matter how many cool thingiemajigs are applied, or how long it took.
And so at the start of 2022 it finally hit me: I needed to get back into the garage.
The stuff I’d been putting by the wayside to become a more Official And Fancy Business Owner — that wild creation, joyful iteration, fearless sharing of behind-closed-doors information — was calling me home.
To add to that: my knowledge and insights had grown intensely since I stepped into positioning coaching and creative direction as my raison d’être two years ago.
But, with the content team on deck repurposing my old stuff?
I could keep procrastinating on taking the risks needed to share the new stuff. So I’d kept it all in my head with nowhere much for it to go.
Time to Take Inventory and Make Boss Decisions
Eventually, enough was enough, and something needed to change. Thus: in Q1 of this year I decided to get back to my roots.
Because as the saying goes – “Ships are safe in the harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for…“
Make no mistake — my core offers are staying put.
Power Position, open now, and
Creative Direction are the works of my heart.
It was clearly time to make space for some new stuff to come through, too.
And the hunger to create off the beaten path wouldn’t leave me alone.
So I made some tough choices in rapid succession.
I let go of my (genuinely awesome) social content team.
I stopped sending writers into my archives to repurpose.
And I decided to start creating for myself again.
I was so excited to get back to it, too!
Surely, this was going to be easy. Look at everything else I’d already done!
Surely, I would immediately and smoothly return to flow, and all these brilliant new ideas would pour out of me like a glitter disco fountain as soon as I turned the lever.
I expected to come back into the creation and content workbench of my business like the Prodigal Son Returned, older and wiser; ready to create genius stuff consistently again, and develop/share some spicy new ideas and offers.
Alas, There’s No Substitute for Doing the Reps
And let me tell you something, friend…
WHEW THAT MUSCLE HAD ATROPHIED SOMETHING FIERCE!
Turns out uhhh…
After a couple of years of letting my team support me with strategy and content creation, suddenly being alone to create, write, and map out my new path felt like getting back into the gym after years off, and trying to lift my old peak performance weights.
“Am I sure this ever came easily!?!” I huffed and puffed over my keyboard, Google Docs, and the Notes app on my phone.
“This is kind of the worst, actually????“
Turns out, it was work, just like it always had been.
Just like I had in the early days, I still needed to swing, miss, and swing again.
I still had to show up and write something every day, even though my inner diva threw a mega tantrum that I didn’t wannnaaaaa.
I still felt the “Is anyone gonna care about this?!” jitters when developing new plans for offers.
It was like wading through molasses for the first couple of months.
Turns out I hadn’t graduated out of any of it — not really. All my old resistance and doubt and less-than-fab habits were still exactly where I’d left them.
But Hard Work Still Pays Off
I’m happy to report in the last couple of weeks? At last, that old feeling is returning, and the fun is starting to come back.
I’ve been testing a super delightful strategy of saving ultra nerd stuff explainers on IG for my “Close friends” list on the platform.
(Which you can be added to if you DM me “add me!”
I’ve done recent deep dives on stuff like:
- social stats from my latest launch
- Selling offers quick n’ dirty
- Photoshoot planning
… With more to come!)
Like… the next launch of Power Position, AND mapping out fab client retreats, AND sketching out one-off 90 minute and VIP day offers, and so much more.
“Surely flow is a faucet!”
I’m once again writing emails that feel like they come more from the heart than the book of how-to.
Like this one.
And overall, finally, I’d say at last: I’m getting back into the flow.
It feels so good to get back to doing what I love most about running a business for myself: creating, playing, iterating, and enjoying the damn ride — even if it means getting a little sweaty and greasy again.
But getting to that “feel good space” required wading through all those “feel bad space” cobwebs first to really get the momentum under my feet again.
Because sometimes I think we subconsciously tell ourselves: “Surely flow is a faucet!”
Surely if we love something it’ll come easily, and we can return to it again and again wherever we wish, after years away.
But, as I’m forced to remember again and again in increasingly unusual ways:
It doesn’t work that way. Nothing does.
Nope. Flow is a current you wade into.
Flow is a current (apt, I know) — and in order to catch it, you have to wade out past the rocks and the rapids, sometimes even further than you’d imagine you’d need to.
But stick with it juuust long enough, and you’ll get there again.
So in case you need it today —
This is your sign go home to that side of yourself calling to you.
Whatever thing you love that you’ve set aside in the name of “Doing the Grown Up Stuff” is still waiting for you.
The only catch? You have to venture out to find it first.
Because that’s always been the way it works.
And because ships are safe in the harbor — but that’s not what ships are built for.
Photo by Jos Speetjens on Unsplash