For my nephew, en route to the physical plane:



As with every new little life on the way, your whole family’s been thinking endlessly about who you’ll become and what your future holds.

But as we count down the days to your big debut, I won’t speculate (publically) about who I think you’ll be. Although — between you and me — I think you’re going to be as brilliant as you are handsome.

Instead, I’ll make you a few important promises:

I promise to purchase you the most absurd, stylin’ OTT baby and toddler clothes possible… and promptly follow your lead when your personal style starts to develop.

I promise never to tickle you without express permission, because I hate that too — and will defend you to the death against your grandpa who WILL try. Repeatedly.

I promise to introduce you to as much good music as I can, as early as possible, so you grow up with silly dance moves and rock solid taste (like a true Weiss).

I promise to tell you all about NYC, if you ever want to know. And when you’re old enough, I’ll take you around to all my favorite places.

I promise to champion your creativity, expression, weirdness, and feminist upbringing (as will your parents) without question.

I promise not to tease you about your first girlfriend or boyfriend if it’s a Very Serious Matter to you.

I promise if I ever catch you sneaking a cigarette behind the garage when you’re 15, I will not let loose on you in that exact moment. But I WILL tell your Mom immediately… and she might.

I promise to answer late night texts and phone calls — or whatever communication technology develops in the coming decades — whenever you need someone to talk to.

I promise never to make fun of a hair cut, color, or piercing you may have in your late teens or early twenties. We’ve all been there.

I promise to find the best routes for making you laugh and think, and I’ll cheer on whatever person you’re going to be, every step of the journey.

I promise if life ever feels like it’s not going your way and nobody likes you, that I like you. And it’ll all be ok in the end. You’ll see.

I promise you’re gonna dig it on Earth. We’ve got chocolate and kittens and rock n’ roll out here. It’s going to be great.

(Almost) welcome to the world, little buddy.

We can’t wait to love you.

Your auntie,


Like what you see?

Sign up and never miss another post (and get a crazy cool freebie)

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.